HAPPY MONDAY from the most moronic couple in the history of the world!
First, how was your weekend? Tell me. What’d you eat?
We went to a wedding. Two weddings, specifically, but we were only invited to one.
Our friends Richard and Maggie got married in a small town about 2 hours away from us. We allowed plenty of time to head up the mountain, have lunch, check into our hotel, get dressed, and head to the ceremony, which, according to the invitation was at FIVE PM. Pay attention.
We left our hotel room a little after 4, with JUST enough time to get to the wedding site. GPS guided us to a a really lovely lodge with the exact same name that was printed on the invitation. We ran in, hoping we made it in time, and a very nice receptionist informed us that the wedding was a mile down a windy road with a few twists and turns.
Awesome. We raced back to our car, followed what we thought were the directions to the site (wrong), and went WAY more than a mile before eventually arriving to a dead end and another car turning around. LUCKILY the driver of the car was assisting a wedding planner, and was also lost, but had DIRECTIONS! So, we followed her to the front of a lovely church where we got out of the car and headed up the steps.
At this point it was 5:20, so we were surprised to see folks milling around outside the church. Everyone was dressed REALLY nicely, and a lady in front of the church holding programs told us that doors weren’t open yet but would be soon since the wedding started at SIX.
We looked at each other incredulously. A few things were going on here. First, we were relieved that we’d made it in time but slightly irritated that we’d raced, and I was SURE the invitation said 5pm. We went back to the car to check, and I was RIGHT – it totally did, much to Jay’s chagrin because he had really been hoping to make fun of me.
So here we are, baffled that our fancy friends had an ERROR ON THEIR WEDDING INVITATION, but sort of also confused because others seemed to be arriving at the right time.
No matter! We took a few selfies, admired the men in black tie (which we of course weren’t), and got in line to go inside and get a program. This is a selfie of me and my husband waiting for a wedding to start.
We got a program. We walked inside. Jay grabs my elbow and hisses:
wrong wedding. this isn’t them.
At this point, I STILL didn’t understand. I looked at the programs and thought to myself how disorganized they were to have gotten the wedding time wrong on the invitation AND have the wrong programs at the venue!
Jay, luckily, absorbs information sometimes more quickly than I do. We OH SO AWKWARDLY walked back through the crowd of people lined up to enter the church, with Jay waving is phone around and loudly saying “we should go make sure they can find it before we go in!”
We sheepishly got back in our car, went BACK to the original building to hear directions a SECOND TIME, and made it to Richard and Maggie’s wedding just as the guests were walking from the ceremony to the reception and getting drinks.
I’m never throwing away the program of the stranger’s wedding, FYI.
We were an uncomfortable combination of embarrassed and hugely amused at the same time – WHO else would be this moronic to not only be late to a wedding but then GO TO THE WRONG ONE? It was a team effort of idiocy, that’s for sure.
The wedding we were actually invited to was perfect in every way, and we managed to stay out of trouble for the rest of the night. Jay’s bff Adam and his fiance Cara, great friends of ours, were there and at our table, and I got to meet lots of other high school buddies and eat yummy food and dance and laugh.
If only getting there hadn’t been quite such a challenge.