Nothing groundbreaking, just an observation. Don’t worry. Also, a picture of me and Jay dancing at our friends Addie and Rick’s wedding:
Yesterday, we had a really productive day in our house. I realize this sounds weird, so let me explain.
Before Jay left for work he vacuumed the house, made the bed, and started the dishwasher. I know this isn’t a big deal, but he gets off work late and uses morning as his relaxing time, so chores aren’t usually at the top of his list of things to do.
When I came home from working (I teach yoga a few mornings a week) and saw all that, I was inspired to do laundry and finish cleaning the kitchen before I had to go back to work. It was little, but that was more chores than we usually get done on a busy Tuesday, and I think it was because we both did helpful things to make the other person’s day a little bit better. Jay did chores without being asked before he left, which inspired me to return the favor and do laundry (and fold, the putting of the laundry in the machine ain’t the hard part) and finish what we’d started in the kitchen so that when we got home there weren’t chores that had to happen before the day could end.
It was simple, and maybe dumb to write about, but it’s striking how easy it is to forget how much we influence each other, for better or for worse. Maybe it’s not the same in your relationships (romantic or otherwise), but it works both ways. LOTS of times I’ll start making a list out loud of things I’d like to get done around the house on a given day, and Jay sweetly hands me the remote and says “here, you watch anything you want, let me get you a glass of wine,” and BOOM, day drinking and binge-watching Scandal instead of doing a scrap of work on the house, or our lives, or whatever it is at the moment that needs to be done.
Do you have that? Like, if one person has a stellar idea to be all productive and is INTO IT, the other person might get influenced and excited to go with it, but if one person feels really strongly about NOT DOING SHIT, then that very well might be what happens.
I think that’s the way it goes, in an effort to conserve the peace. We just go with the squeakiest wheel, and sometimes that can be great and sometimes that can be not so great. So MAYBE, if the person with the productive, healthy, happy idea is the loudest or most firm, more will get done. I think this theory could apply to work, financial choices, eating behaviors, ANYTHING. It certainly does in our house, and if we know that it could be as simple as being mindful of which choices we’re more likely to go along with, maybe dumb things like vacuuming for ten minutes on a Tuesday wouldn’t be so 1. hard and 2. shocking.
Just a thought.