The other day my husband said the GAYEST, MOST WOMANLY THING EVER. Because, as we know, gay men and women are basically the same.
hey, um, I know this sounds dumb, but do you think you could maybe get me some moisturizer with sunscreen in it for my face and head?
No. NO. THE HORROR. Imagine the audacity of this supposed MAN that I married wanting to care for his skin as he ages. What the fuck is up with that.
Oh wait. That should be completely normal and something we all do, nothing we should ever apologize for, and utterly
ludacris ludicrous that any human would be made to feel less of anything for wanting that.
I mean, really. It’s not about vanity, homeboy wasn’t asking my opinions on Botox. It’s about not wanting cancer and sunburn on your body, something we should ALL care more about (yes, I love being tan. get off me.). And, Jay REALLY isn’t the type to get embarrassed about things or succumb to societal pressures in terms of dress or behavior. He said, without even thinking, that he knew it was “dumb” to ask for sunscreen but wanted it anyway. Without even thinking, someone who works really hard to be kind of outside the fray in terms of “normal” just accepted that men don’t care about wrinkles or sun protection, but he did, and so he had to apologize for it, in a sense.
He also gets mocked for ordering vegetables at restaurants and eating healthy foods at work and sometimes wearing scarves, but that’s a different story.
Go home, Culture, you’re drunk. You don’t get to tell people that caring for their skin is dumb. You don’t get to call people gay for ordering a mother effing turkey burger. You don’t get to call me sensitive for wanting all people to be happy and nice to each other.
In fact, why don’t you mind your own effing business, Culture? You sit over there with your sunburn and red meat, and I’ll be here with my perfectly straight husband and gay friends being all healthy and nice. Our blood pressure is lower for it.