My mom’s birthday is today, and we had a big fun celebration for her and my grandmother and sister earlier, who ALSO have birthdays around this time. It was a great time, and it’s been so much fun being pregnant and spending time with my mom – the girl has some knowledge about the fact since she birthed 4 of us, and I’m trying to soak up everything she tells me so that I can be just like her.
The other night Jay and I had dinner with her (my dad was traveling for work in France) and she was talking about the actual birthing of humans and recovery and she said “well, with you, I was just so elated that there wasn’t any depression and the physical stuff kind of just went away.”
Don’t you just want someone to be elated that you exist? It’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, and kind of a relief because I gave her hell for a good period there in middle school and high school. Sorry about that.
Our mom, though, is incredible. She has this kind of calm about her and really rarely loses her mind about things. She’s also never grumpy, which I’m envious of. She works and still manages to put in tons of time as a volunteer guardian ad litem – she spends her time, for free, visiting families and assessing how safe they are for children, and then testifying on behalf of the children in court. After raising 4 kids and basically testifying on our behalf our entire lives. That’s giving right there – giving of your time freely to help others with zero thanks or reward in a job-like capacity. This isn’t a two hour soup kitchen shift once a month, people, and I’ve never heard my mom complain about the work she does as a guardian.
I’m super excited to see my mom as a grandmother because I don’t have any memories of her with babies other than sort of fawning over cousins and things like that. My memories of her with my sisters were mostly business because, let’s face it, there’s a lot of logistics involved in keeping 4 kids alive and in school and in clean clothes. I’m hopeful to not be terribly needy to her when the baby is born so that she can just have some straight-up baby time sans responsibility – that’s probably the best kind of baby time, right? Also, she legit looks 40 so people are probably going to think it’s her kid, which is cool.
I know we’ll be different kinds of parents than our parents were, but emulating my mother in any small way would better my daughter’s life by approximately one thousand percent better. I think the grumpy ship has kind of sailed, let’s be honest, but the giving thing? the gentleness? the laughter and being elated just that her children exist? Pleaseohplease let me have SOME of that.
Good job defying aging yet another year, Mama. I love you. Thank you for teaching me everything.