When I moved to DC to be a comedian I had $800 dollars to my name. I didn’t have the financial freedom to take my time and try to find a “dream job.” However, when you do not have a college degree, “dream jobs” are few and far between anyways unless your dream job is waiting tables. I couldn’t even wait tables because I wanted to spend my nights in bars at open mics doing stand-up. I had little time to crash on Rory’s sofa and needed to find a place to live quickly. I had expenses that were rapidly building up on my horizon (rent, bills, food, gas, drugs, alcohol & cigarettes were all very important to me at that time in my life). So, without any other options on the table, I resigned myself to work at the worst place humanly possible…The Pottery Barn….
Awhile ago, before I met Jay (or during one of the 8,393 times we were broken up), two of my single girlfriends and I were discussing the merits of dating the formerly fat and how fabulous it is. Overall, the formerly fat tend to try harder at life because they’re not used to skating through situations on good looks, and they develop good personalities due to years of mocking and only having one’s parents as friends.
If you have never visited this pitiful ode to a dysfunctional relationship before you might not know that Jay, my better/worse/more sarcastic half used to be fat. Real fat.
This weekend I was lucky enough to go visit one of my dear friends Jessica in Southport, North Carolina. Jessica and I went to high school together in Tokyo, and our weekends together generally consist of excessive wine drinking, gossiping, reminiscing, and restaurant-trying. This weekend was no exception, and we had a great time exploring Southport, where her parents live.
Tip: If you’d like your adult children to visit you more often, move to the beach. It works, trust me.
Southport is a fabulous tiny town on the NC coast with a very beachy feel minus tourist traps and high schoolers – a WIN in our opinion!