15 Monday Apr 2013
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, Funny, Wedding
Tags
blogging, creative proposals, engagement, funny love, love, marriage, relationships, spring wedding, wedding, wedding planning, wedding season
You know how you hear pregnant women whining about how strangers touch their bellies without asking and they feel violated because it’s their belly, their fetus, and one really shouldn’t go around touching another human’s midsection without a clear invitation?
I feel that way about my left hand.
14 Thursday Feb 2013
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, Family, Food, Recipes
Tags
cooking, eating, food, funny love, how to cook, italian food, love, pasta, recipes, relationships, sausage, valentines day, vegetarian
OMG.
Why can’t Valentine’s day be floating? Like…always the second Saturday of February? Thursday is a super bummer day for a holiday. It’s SO CLOSE to the weekend. But….not quite.
Even so, you might want to make something super delicious yet fast and affordable for the people you love tonight, right?
Enter…..pasta.
It’s just so easy. And delicious. And everyone likes it.
Unless they’re dumb, and then you don’t need to be hanging out with them.
Anyway.
14 Thursday Feb 2013
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, Comedy, Funny, Recipes, Relationship Ridiculousness
Tags
comedy, cooking, couples, david thorne, eating, food, funny, humor, jokes, recipes, relationship advice, relationships, web humor
Sorry, guys.
I’ve told you before that I love me some David Thorne.
He’s hilarious, sarcastic, vulgar, and totally on point with most of his social commentary.
This article, though, is hilarious. They all are, and I encourage you to not work at all today and read every single article on his website.
BUT if you don’t have time for that, click here, and read this. You’ll die. It cracks me up to know that other people fight about total nothingness like we never do.
Have a fun day, and let me know if you have any bright ideas for fun dates tonight. I don’t want my bald manfriend to bore of doing the same thing all the time.
And by the same thing, I mean, of course, me prancing around in skimpy nighties with freshly shaven legs and a full face of makeup begging him to bed me.
If it were opposite day.
07 Thursday Feb 2013
Posted in Food, meal planning, Recipes
Tags
cooking, eating, food, food for valentines day, funny love, gift giving, love, relationships, romance, seafood, sweethearts, valentines day
You know what next week is?
It’s a day where we buy things for people we love, and single people pretend like having a significant other is the only way to feel love, which makes me feel sad, but I kind of get it because of all the commercials, and people eat food together.
That’s what your Valentine’s day looks like, right?
Mine actually started last night. I cooked something yummy for you! I’m gonna show it to you soon so you can plan to make it for your sweetie, or your mom, or your dog, or your friends. Love can come from lots of places, people!
I think cooking on Valentine’s day is so fun. First, you save money and irritation and time by avoiding restaurants. Plus, it’s a nice gesture for people you love. Plus, you can drink and not drive.
Everyone wins!
21 Thursday Jun 2012
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, dogs, Family, Funny, House Projects
Tags
fencing, funny, funny love, home improvement, house hunting, landscaping, outdoors, relationships, yard work
When Lindsay and I bought our new house, we knew that we would have to build a fence in the backyard in order to keep the dogs from roaming wild through the neighborhood. We immediately thought of a privacy fence, with a handcrafted top, and lovely jasmine growing all over the fence. Then we priced that dream fence out, and realized that it was in fact just a dream. Next we moved onto a chain link fence, and set our dream bar just a bit lower. However, we were going to get a green vinyl coated chain link fence. We thought it would look nicer, and promote our classiness to our (assumingly) jealous neighbors. Then we priced that middle class dream, and it too turned out to be just a dream. I was all set to go out and get some chicken wire and run it around a bunch of sticks, but then I discovered Split Rail Fencing (cue chorus of angels singing)!
13 Wednesday Jun 2012
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, Comedy, Family, Food, Funny
Tags
boyfriend, cooking out, funny love, grilling, house, relationships
You know that feeling that you feel sometimes when your boyfriend is outside grilling super delicious pineapple and tofu and you haven’t heard from him in awhile and you’re not sure if he’s taking the right kind of pictures of the food for your blog so you stop what you’re doing and swig some wine and look out the sliding glass door to be sure he’s not ruining dinner and your entire life?
No?
Just me?
Too specific?
I’m working on my storytelling, here.
12 Tuesday Jun 2012
23 Wednesday May 2012
Posted in Funny, Relationship Ridiculousness
Tags
anxiety, growing up, love, moving, real estate, relationships
I am now officially a homeowner and it’s a little scary. I am 31 and have rented my entire life. If I nailed something in the wall, scratched a door jam, or scuffed up the floor I always told myself, “Screw it, you don’t own it.” I now own it and it is starting to give me small anxiety attacks.
I am now hyperaware of dog’s claws scratching MY hardwood floor, hot water heater issues, wall damage, and of course a backyard that needs to be trimmed as badly as a 1970’s porn actress.
It’s all a bit much to take in over one weekend. I haven’t had a full on anxiety attack yet, but I have asked Lindsay to just hold me several times.
23 Monday Apr 2012
Posted in Best Boyfriend Award, dogs, Family, Relationship Ridiculousness
Tags
comedy, funny, house, humor, love, moving in, real estate, relationships
….is the substance that the counter are made of in the house we are buying in UNDER A MONTH.
Seriously.
We can’t wait!
This is the kitchen.
We are now accepting cheap decorating advice. Thank you.
18 Wednesday Apr 2012
Tags
animals, boyfriend, dogs, family, funny, funny pets, humor, love, nature, pesky animals, pets, relationships
See this bowl? It used to be filled with pretty, lovely decorative balls that served no purpose whatsoever other than to look good.
That’s a purpose.
Where did the balls GO, you ask?