If peeing in your pants makes you cool, I’m Miles Davis
Yesterday, I had my first real meeting about the start of my new job. I got to sit down with my boss and review my role with the organization and share some of my thoughts and ideas. I met with other “higher ups” and signed some papers, and got the passwords for the systems I’ll be working with. This is my first “real” job since leaving the world of stand-up and the nightlife of waiting tables, and these meetings have made me feel like a true professional. I guess you could say that I felt like a Big Boy!
Food and alcohol are like Xanax during the holiday season. From Thanksgiving until Christmas there is a never-ending barrage of family gatherings that seem to take place on eggshells. It comes in so many different forms. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been warned that Grandma’s good china can’t go in the dishwasher, or been told how poorly I drive on the way to or from family gatherings. For each one of the nags and complaints I drown them in booze and then toss back fattening carbohydrate lifeboats….
Jay and I were discussing a new job possibility that might end up being PERFECT for him, and the following exchange ensued:
Me: that’s absolutely insaneI’M SO EXCITED FOR YOUi told you everything could turn around in an instant
Jay: just like that Bette Midler song….”In an instant….”me: ….from a distance?
Jay: oh…well, I guess I’m not gay afterall!!!!