We’re tailgating today, separately, and we hope you’re doing something really fun too in this fabulous weather! Eat something yummy today and tell us about it!
Also, Photoshop is fun.
L and J
The definition of torture is considered to be “The action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment, or in order to force them to do or say something.” Lindsay sometimes uses this technique to test the boundaries of my love, patience, and tolerance. No, she isn’t pulling my fingernails out with a rusty pair of pliers, or smashing my toes with a sledgehammer, but she has assaulted my ears and eyes with some of the worst music and movie selections that I have ever been subjected to. If we cook dinner at her house, we listen to Broadway musicals like Rent (it’s like giving my ears AIDS). Or if it’s not a gay themed show-tune, it could quite easily be a religious ditty, or some mainstream pop-rock song currently on rotation at your local FM station. If we are cuddled up on the sofa and want to watch a movie, she could go either way. Lindsay loves awesomely bad actions films like “Bad Boys II” and “Face-Off” (and that is one of the things I love about her!), but then just last week she suggested we watch “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” Snuff films have better character development and plot line. However, the important part is not how much I hate it, but how much she enjoys it. Who am I to sh*t all over her personal taste in music and movies no matter how horrible I find it? That’s not really that big of a deal. The thing I noticed while trashing her taste in music and film, is that we have a lot of things in common that I don’t hate. Those things are things most guys HATE!
I’ve listed below the activities that she loves and I love, which also make me seem slightly gay. I’m cool with it.
You remember those spy movies where the sexy woman seduces the man by getting him drunk, being a gorgeous cock tease, and then extracts some critical piece of information from him? Lindsay attempted to do this to me on Friday night. I got drunk, passed out early and she stayed up reading Food Network Magazine and reading all of the text messages in my kick ass iPhone. I know, sounds like I’m dating a crazy person, right? Well, I guess you’re right…she’s a little nutter. Now, I think some men would be upset by the fact that their distrusting girlfriend searched their kick ass iPhone for evidence that will destroy their relationship. I understand that reaction. I mean, what if I had been cheating on her? I would have been SUPER pissed if I had been cheating on her. I mean, it takes a lot of skill and scheduling to coordinate two relationships, and for her to ruin it by not trusting me; well that’s just hurtful and I’d have to think long and hard about whether or not I want to be in a relationship with someone who is that distrustful. Am I right fellas? Or what if I was addicted to texting pictures of my genitals to strangers? I’m not, but what if I was? For her to rob me of the imaginary joy I get from texting strangers pictures of my weenie would be wrong. I can’t imagine her finding those pictures and supporting my recreational hobby of showing strangers my reproductive organs. Or what if I was a hit man for the Russian mob? She starts snooping around on this deadly assassin’s kick ass iPhone, and then the next thing you know she’s gone against the family and someone has to “disappear”. Then I would feel terrible about cutting the brake line on her car. So, once again her actions would have a very negative impact on my life. Ugh…the nerve of untrusting people.