Ok, I think it’s the most cliche thing EVER to say that you just love takeout Chinese but it’s SUCH an indulgence because do you KNOW how many calories and grams of sodium are in it but OH it’s just so good and sometimes you just NEED IT, amirite? 
Skinny people say that. People who “indulge,” once every two years. Which, to be fair, is probably closer to the definition of splurging than “twice a month,” but whatever. We actually rarely eat Chinese takeout not for any of the above reasons but we just have a long list of other takeout food that we like better. Middle Eastern, Indian, and Pizza, in that order, are our favs. Indian might be first, actually.
But whatever.
We DO like greasy Chinese, because who the hell doesn’t, and also every time I think of beef and broccoli I think of Jennifer Connelly in He’s Just Not That Into You saying “sure I can’t interest you in some beef and broccoli?” right after she banged Bradley Cooper in his office while Scarlett Johansson is waiting IN HIS CLOSET because she’s having an affair with him. Literally the first thing that comes to mind every time I hear the name of the dish. Jenn has a weird accent after she bangs Bradley Coopers in their offices.
So we need beef and broccoli. Because it’s easy to make at home, involves veg+protein+carb, and is effing delicious. My version does have some “weird,” I suppose, Asian ingredients, but they’re ingredients that are used in tons of other Asian dishes, so maybe THIS is your day to buy some new ingredients and learn to use them! Maybe.
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